nedsseveredhead:

I feel so proud when friends tell me their parents like me. Like damn right they do, I am a delight.

bagmilk:

when your waiter comes out with food but it’s for another table

image

image

image

kindasadandalwaystired:

recoveryofabrokenteen:

littlebearofasgard:

tyleroakley:

CAN’T UNSEE.

I am fire *pant pant* 

I am death. 

you ruined my life

you mean improved your life

geoffrmsy:

dekutree:

tbh I don’t see the fuss about having waiters/waitresses not being happy and enthusiastic like I came here to eat I didn’t come here to be amused by employees as long as I’m getting my food and they’re not being blatantly rude I don’t see why y’all need to go on yelp to rank a restaurant 0/5 and have an outburst on why your waitress didn’t smile at you when she poured you water

this is pretty fucking important

hooddoggy:

i want to get so good at giving sly digs that you dont even realize i insulted you until like a week later when you randomly start crying while eating breakfast

babybluesuv:

royonfire:

I present to you a puppy eating watermelon.

I can’t stop thinking about this